Footballer Frank McAvennie’s column in the Scottish SUN:

Blow full time whistle on Only An Excuse? BBC show need to ‘seriously up their game’, says Frank McAvennie

For the last few years Only An Excuse? has been on life support — now might be the time to put it out of its misery.

Jonathan Watson said last week that I change my mind about the show every morning I get up. So for total clarity, I think it is complete and utter garbage.

And that’s been my opinion for several years now.

It’s not personal because I think Jonathan is a great guy and I have a lot of time for him.

He’s a top actor and I’ve never hidden the fact I appreciate his “Where’s the burdz?” parody has kept me in the spotlight in Scotland for 30 years.

I’m the only good part of the show left but even I’d happily get killed off at this point.

Only An Excuse? was brilliant once upon a time, one of the few telly programmes I’d be bowled over laughing at.

Now I’m lucky if I even crack a smile at one of the gags.

If they want to stick at it, they’ve seriously got to up their game.

I’ve no idea how the BBC even approved their Hogmanay effort.

Firstly, why was he so keen to have a pop at Brendan Rodgers?

His impression was more offensive than it was funny.

Unless I’ve missed an argument between the two of them, I was confused as to why he kept having a pop at the Celtic manager.

And then the Steven Gerrard sketch was horrendous. He couldn’t even do a Scouse accent.

Only An Excuse star Jonathan Watson gives footie hero Frank McAvennie red card on calls to blow final whistle on BBC comedy show

Without the caption at the bottom saying “Gerrard” nobody would have known it was the Rangers gaffer.

It just looked like Jonathan Watson in a Rangers tie, above.

Come to think of it, almost all of his characters look like Jonathan Watson playing Jonathan Watson.

His portrayal of me might be the only obvious one because of the wig. And I shouldn’t even mention his sketch about the Sportscene boys.

It looked like the entire programme was flung together in one day. He needs to stop mixing politics and football as well.

His Kim Jong-un impression is the biggest load of rubbish I’ve watched in my life and his Nicola Sturgeon one isn’t far behind.’Jonathan is a great guy’ but plug should still be pulled on BBC show

Whether he likes it or not, it’s a football show and should focus on that.

Along with the writer Philip Differ, the two of them used to be a dream pairing.

Now they couldn’t score a hit no matter how hard they tried.

Maybe if a new writer takes the show on they can up their game and save it.

Right now it looks tired and dull and needs a massive revamp.

Even though it’s been pretty bad for years, I did think some of the previous gags they did about me were top-notch.

Hogmanay punters blast ‘100% laugh free’ Only An Excuse? but not everybody thought 2018’s show was bad

My favourite sketch was when my character was at a petrol station and the attendant asks, ‘Pump two?’ and I said ‘With a bit of luck’.

But on Hogmanay I couldn’t even laugh at myself. There was no catch, no hook, just an awkward silence as I questioned what the hell they were thinking.

I used to give the team the benefit of the doubt and say it was hard to make the programme these days because of a lack of characters in Scottish football.

But they butcher their impressions of the few characters that remain.

Jonathan should take his gold watch and do proper acting. He’s doing brilliantly in Two Doors Down so I’d stick to that.

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