THE BELLS ARE RINGING OUT FOR CHANGE TO HOGMANAY TV PROGRAMMES

NOTEBOOK by BILL HEANEY

When you always do what you always did then you always get what you always got.

Television companies should remember this sage piece of advice when they come to draw up their plans and schedules for next year’s Hogmanay shows.

This year’s shows were appalling as always, according to viewers who went off to bed bitterly disappointed in the early hours of 2022.

Scottish author and FB friend of mine Catherine Czerkawska was just one of the strident critics.

She told social media: “For those of us who were miserably stuck at home – and for a country that allegedly invented Hogmanay – Scotland manages to produce the most hideously shit television every year – with STV and BBC vying with each other for sheer inept awfulness that even a large whisky mac couldn’t improve.

“And no fireworks from Edinburgh ffs, although at least Stirling stepped up. It says something when the only reasonably decent programme throughout the whole terrible evening was Alan Cumming and his nice wee dog in the Hebrides. Perhaps next year, we could go somewhere – anywhere – else.”

Unsurprising, this thread quickly took legs with Enez Anderson telling the world: “Totally agree Catherine. What am I paying a TV licence for. To watch all this total rubbish. The times they are a changing.”

Her friend, Elizabeth Kwasnik wrote: “Here in Englandshire we get Jools Holland’s Hootenany…ok apart from he will drag out the awful Gregory Porter year after bloody year. At least Lulu belted out “Shout” pretty damn well.

Valerie Laws said: “We had Andy Stewart’s white heather club at new year throughout my childhood! New year was a big deal in Northumberland, like Halloween, as in Scotland.”

Catherine Czerkawska told her: “I think White Heather club would have been an improvement on last night.”

Hugh Mcmillan wrote: “I thought the BBC Alba programme was great – non stop music. Especially liked Peat and Diesel of ‘cmon baby light my byre’ fame”

Professional critic Robert Dawson Scott said: “Alan Cumming programme was five years old. I quite enjoyed the STV show – a sort of light hearted Review of the year crossed with Gogglebox. Cheap and cheerful.”

Russell James threw this into the mix: “An early night seemed the best idea, in the hope one could forget the whole dreary year.”

Me? I thought the whole thing was terrible although I didn’t go to the same lengths as Moira Briggs who wrote: “I’m a total New Year/Hogmanay grouch. I was in bed by 9.00pm and asleep by 10.00pm.

“Midnight came and went without any help from me. As usual. (And I’m currently engaged in ripping down the decorations… a long-standing January 1st tradition Chez Briggs.)

Movie stars worth watching – Jessie Buckley and Olivia Colman plus Sir Anthony Hopkins (above).

Alison Craig said: “I can’t believe how awful the TV scheduling has been over the entire Christmas period. It’s actually insulting. I know many people like to see the classics (White Christmas, Sound of Music etc.), but surely there must be some great and more recent films …”

I don’t think “great and more recent” sums up this viewing situation and being the elderly grump that I unquestionably am now I I thought most of the stuff I saw was not family viewing, which we should expect at Christmas and New Year, but soft porn – and maybe even hard porn in places.

It’s difficult for me to make the distinction since I am not a regular viewer of that sort of stuff.

The best movies I saw were Fractured starring Sir Anthony Hopkins and The Lost Daughter with Olivia Colman and Jessie Buckley.

Mind who you watch them with though.