NOTEBOOK: Matt Hancock stripped of Tory whip for signing up to I’m A Celebrity

By Bill Heaney

Some people have no shame. What an arrogant little prat Matt Hancock, the former Tory Health Minister, has turned out to be.

They talk about lying all the way to the bank. It’s something you can get away with if you are a politician of some disrepute in either parliament, Holyrood or Westminster.

And you can be male or female, so don’t give us your Me Too patter.

Tory Nadine Dorries MP and Kezia Dugdale, the former Labour leader in Scotland, took the TV money which last night was being estimated at a cool £330,000.

Not bad cash if you can get it since it would certainly soften the blow of being widely perceived as a knave and a fool.

Today it was announced that Matt Hancock has been suspended from the Conservative parliamentary party after signing up to enter the jungle for I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!

Hancock, right,  is no celebrity. He is a liar and a cheat who used the Covid pandemic to make a name for himself – unfortunately almost as bad a name as that other rascal Boris Johnston.

These people think we are all daft. We are, of course. No one in their right mind would allow these folk to clean their toilet, never mind voting them into parliament.

“This is a matter [the I’m a Celbrity call-up] serious enough to warrant suspension of the whip with immediate effect,” said Simon Hart, the Tory chief whip.

The former health secretary has agreed to join the crapulous programme as early as this weekend, after he was snubbed by Rishi Sunak when the new prime minister put together his new government.

Let’s hope he gets to eat snails and cans of worms one after the other. And plenty of them.

Politicians are a funny lot though. Enigmatic doesn’t cut it.

How come Hancock gets the worms rammed down his throat while Sue Braverman, the Home Secretary, gets away with her “I had a dream” speech excoriating asylum seekers.

It’s her dream she said that a photograph will appear soon on the front page of the true blue Daily Telegraph of the first plane load of asylum seekers taking off for Rwanda.

And yesterday she talked about “an invasion” of the United Kingdom’s south coast of desperate people fleeing war, violence, hunger and starvation.

The sooner she is made to join her creepy wee colleague Hancock in exile somewhere nasty the better.

Nadine Dorries and Kezia Dugdale – recipients of large sums for appearing on TV.


Salmon and sh*te

I am astonished that the Loch Lomond and Trossachs National Park Authority took the time to consider that planning application for a salmon farm in Loch Long.

It was apparent from the outset that this was a no goer, that it should be thrown back in the dirty water it came from.

Salmon “farmers” wanted to make a fortune out of growing this stuff, polluting our clean waters and unashamedly selling it to the public who really should boak at the thought of eating it.

Farmed salmon is marketed as good for your health. It’s not, it’s fishes cruelly trapped in a net swimming around in their own excrement.

And yours too, of course, if you live around Arrochar.

Scottish salmon farmed and fresh. See the difference.


Church Street’s little Pravda

West Dunbartonshire Council continue to ban The Democrat from receiving equal service from their Communications Department or being allowed to speak to any of their staff or press officers.

It’s as though we live in Belarus here and not in Bonhill or Bellsmyre. And that the officers run our local council, not the members who were elected by the public to do so.

So, there’s democracy for you Dumbarton style. Which councillor has the guts to stand up and tell the suits and skirts to lift the ban?

We have a relatively new Labour provost in Church Street these days. C’mon Provost Douglas McAllister, let’s be having you.  Lift this juvenile ban now.


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