NOTEBOOK by BILL HEANEY

Are you fed up with your local councillor? Fed up to the teeth even?

According to West Dunbartonshire Council’s complaints section on Facebook, hosted by Amanda, Stephen and “the team,” it would appear our elected representatives are being kept busier than ever with residents complaining about everything from bins to budgets. And council tax.

Who would be councillor?

The Minister for Local Government Empowerment and Planning, Joe FitzPatrick, who swapped the hospital pass of the drugs portfolio at Holyrood for promoting the myth of public empowerment, says the SNP remains committed to “increasing the diversity of councillors in local government and to breaking down the barriers that currently discourage people from standing or re-standing for elected office”.

Perhaps then Joe could use this campaign to kick off the new job that Nicola unceremoniously demoted him into before she herself was forced to slam on the brakes in that flash motor home the SNP wants back.

I have to make it clear that it’s the motor home, which is currently in police custody, that the party wants back, not Nicola Sturgeon.

Joe supports the introduction of proxy voting for councillors, and says the Scottish Government has been working in partnership with the Convention of Scottish Local Authorities on how that could enable councillors to take parental leave “without risking their democratic mandate”.

Which means that councillors would receive their salaries – a minimum of around £25,000 and a maximum of £50,000 a year – without the inconvenience of having to turn up for meetings – “I had to stay in and watch the weans” will be a commonplace excuse when that happens.

It should certainly lengthen the queue of people who want to get onto the council in future even though things aren’t great for the present incumbents

Jackie Dunbar, an Aberdonian MSP, is quoted in Holyrood’s official report stating that Joe has previously suggested proxy voting but … that this might open up local authorities to legal challenges, either directly or as a means of challenging decisions to which a proxy vote made a difference.

The bold Jackie asked Joe, pictured LEFT, if he could “offer any support so that local authorities that enable proxy voting will be protected from the risks of such a challenge” .

Jackie didn’t say whether she had any weans.

Not unnaturally, Joe passed this can of worms back down the line – “The Scottish Government is supportive of proxy voting for local councillors, but, given the variety of approaches to council meetings across Scotland, it is for individual local authorities to satisfy themselves that any pilot falls within their existing powers.”

A pilot, by the way, has nothing to do with aeroplanes or leather helmets and usually involves some kite flying or “running a project up the flagpole to see who salutes it”. God help us all.

Mr Fitzpatrick, who will soon become widely known as Uncle Joe for allowing councillors the benefits of staying at home and voting by proxy while watching the weans and still being paid for it, should never have left the drugs job.

He says: “Although I want to be as helpful as possible, only the courts can authoritatively interpret Scottish Parliament legislation.

“However, in the interests of partnership working and in line with our commitment to increasing the diversity of those who hold elected office, I will meet COSLA next week to identify how we might support a local authority to pilot a proxy voting scheme.”

Let’s hope his ministerial car is never seen at the doors of West Dunbartonshire Council’s headquarters in Church Street.

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The statistics for children plunking school in West Dunbartonshire are frightening.

In some schools almost 50 per cent of the pupils are failing to turn up in the morning for classes.

Too many of them learn little or nothing when they do arrive at school.

Reading, writing and arithmetic appear to have been consigned to the past along with the blackboards, chalk and dusters.

Everyone is dyslexic now if they want to be. Pencils, jotters and rubbers are out. Chrome books, i pads, mobile phones are very much in.

And a new way of molly-coddling has just arrived in the classroom.

Far too many pupils can neither read nor write or do numbers when they leave school.

Plunking means they spend little or no time with their nose in a book.

I have a confession to make. I was a recidivist plunker, someone whose face was seldom seen in the corridors of the Penitentiary, pictured here, the name by which St Patrick’s High School was once known.

Tom Quinn’s French class, Big Ben Docherty’s Spanish periods, Dan Law’s German, Wee Doc’s English and Latin, Dan Burns and Frank Goldie’s Science classes, Cowboy Kearns’ geography, Jack Gilroy and and Ben Ferry’s Maths classes, head teacher Rinty Monaghan, Matt Bryson, Big Jake Denuink and Wee Tommie O’Donnell seldom saw me sitting at the back of the classroom.

St Patrick’s High School staff and senior pupils in the 1960s.

One incident that put me off the place involved a teacher whose Lochgelly leather belt was cut up into pieces by some lads from the housing schemes over the road from the school.

The lads had had more than enough of being belted all day, every day, sometimes as many as eight times a day. There were eight periods in a normal day and pupils could have their hands “warmed” by anything from two to six of the belt in every one of them.

Mostly, it was for not having done their homework.

The punishment wasn’t pleasant and I fell foul of the teacher with the shredded strap. He didn’t hold back on corporal punishment matters. That finished me with school. On the last day of term, I dumped my books at the door of my registrar’s class and never went back.

My real education had to take place later as a mature student at night school and law school in Strathclyde University.

What I am getting to was sparked off in my head by the news from West Dunbartonshire Council which announced that children and young people in schools and Early Learning Centres will receive additional help and support to cope with losing a loved one.

We were told that to meet demand for support, West Dunbartonshire’s Psychological Service has trained 62 companions to help children and young people through an eight-week programme, Seasons for Growth. Last year 200 pupils attended 32 sessions across primary and secondary schools.

I can’t help wondering what that will cost council taxpayers. The programme, which has 162 “trained companions,” is aimed at 6-18 year olds, assisting them in dealing with change, loss and grief. It said council staff in primary and secondary schools took part in Child Bereavement UK training and that training will be offered to employees in Early Years and those working in specialist schools.

In my opinion, for what it is worth, pupils will receive little benefit from the “universal staff training in bereavement which will be updated with a calendar of training in all schools”.

Children are resilient even in bereavement. In most cases they can cope perfectly well and parents who fail to support their child through change and loss are not worthy of the name.

The council’s plans to add bereavement to the curriculum are misplaced. From the evidence of the far too many reports and reviews we receive of how children are coping in schools, education should go back to basics and concentrate on reading, writing and arithmetic.

Achievement in these subjects would encourage our children to be happier and the benefits would extend far beyond the family home.

In times of bereavement it might be more helpful to have a home care worker in to make the tea and wash the dishes.

Resources recognising religion, culture and languages will be what is rolled out though. No expensive training will be required for those teaching children on how to use a Hoover.

Councillor Clare Steel, Convener of Educational Services, said: “The loss of a loved one can be so hard for children and young people to comprehend. I welcome these additional measures which will help and support children and their families when they need it most to help cope with their loss.”

Councillor John Millar, Vice Convener of Educational Services, sounds much more practical. He says: “Bereavement and coping with loss is an extremely difficult time for everyone, regardless of their age. Having access to the right support that people can rely on is absolutely essential and can make a huge positive difference when dealing with grief.”