NOTEBOOK by BILL HEANEY
I was only ever in a strip club once. That was when I was visiting local Servicemen and women in Germany and Holland to write about what they were doing there in the service of Queen and country.
On another military visit, to Africa this time, where we were embedded with the troops doing jungle war training, I was almost in another such club in a place called Naenuki, near Nairobi, but that’s another story.
After flying around all day in Germany in a Chinook helicopter and jumping out the back of it into fields full of armed-to-the-teeth soldiers in a faux Battle of the Bulge, it was decided by the top brass that the press corps should be entertained to some R&R.
A few young officers were delegated to accompany us to what on the face of it looked like a petrol filling station with an old Army hall behind it.
The hall turned out to be a strip club and, as we had participated in what is called “sups” before dinner – a few large glasses of very good Scotch whisky – we were in the mood for some fun.
The young officers had obviously been here before and were immediately recognised in their down time dress of smart sports jackets and cavalry twills, not forgetting the Vyella shirts, regimental ties and desert boots of course. Real soldiers don’t need a military uniform to identify them.
We filed in and were given front row seats in a small theatre where the burlesque was to begin.
The lads were in good form since the generous drams partaken of back at the Officers’ Mess were even more generously topped up with glasses of Schnapps.
The first few acts of burlesque were pieces of relatively harmless fun with music, attractive young women and faux strippers who appeared to take their work very seriously indeed.
So seriously indeed that when one of them appeared with a large imitation [toy] donkey under her arm and started fooling around with it our lot burst out laughing and were thrown out by the management.
Although we were later on that “fact finding mission” taken on a tour of the red light district in Amsterdam as we made our way to Den Helder in Holland to watch Bofurs guns being fired there, I declined the chance to be introduced to the ladies of the night.
The world has changed a great deal since then, and I haven’t been to a strip club ever since.
However, one may soon be coming to me, although not personally but to everyone in West Dunbartonshire who thinks it’s a good idea to have one, something they consider will bring new life to our dilapidated town centres.
Not if a rape crisis charity has anything to do with it though.
Glasgow and Clyde Rape Crisis has already voiced its concerns at the idea of licensing sexual entertainment venues (SEVs) in West Dunbartonshire.
It told the local council that whilst increased regulation and licensing would increase scrutiny of such venues, and their compliance with the rules, it could send a message that SEVs are seen as “legitimate and welcomed to operate”.
In September, local residents and organisations were asked whether or not SEVs in the area should be licensed as part of a consultation launched by West Dunbartonshire Council..
Participants were asked for their views on whether licenses should be required to regulate SEVs, how many venues should be allowed to operate, and where they should operate.
The consultation followed changes to government legislation, first introduced in 1982, which gave council licensing committees the power to decide whether SEVs should be licensed.
A SEV is defined as any premises at which sexual entertainment is provided before a live audience.
There are currently no venues in West Dunbartonshire that would require to hold a SEV licence, but the council’s licensing committee met – in private of course since they consider that members of the public might not be mature enough to listen to their no doubt insightful debate – to decide whether a licensing scheme should be put in place for any such venue in the future.
Glasgow and Clyde Rape Crisis stated that it does not support the operation, let alone the licensing, of such venues.
They said in their consultation response: “We do not support the operation of Sexual Entertainment Venues (SEVs).
“Licensed or not, SEVs permit the commercial sexual exploitation of women and continued objectification of their bodies meaning that an SEV’s existence is in direct conflict with Scotland’s own Equally Safe vision seeking to prevent and eradicate violence against women and girls (VAWG) in Scotland.”
The National SEV Coalition, a group of adult performers, allies, and academics from around the UK, said that based on years of “collective lived experience”, said it did not believe venues should be licensed – but for different reasons.
A spokesperson said: “Our view, based on years of collective lived experience, is that these establishments should not be subjected to an additional licensing requirement in addition to existing premises licences for the selling of alcohol.
“For a start, SEV licences introduce obligations that tend to be counterproductive.
“Expensive yearly licence renewal processes are a disincentive for venue management to invest in the upkeep of their venues which not only creates a health and safety problem for the people who work in them but can also sometimes lead to the perception that they are ‘seedy’ because they are run down.
“It also takes away from investing in better security.
“A wide range of people enjoy striptease entertainment and work as strippers – there might be people on your committee who are regular customers, and you might have people in your social or family circle who have been or are currently dancers.”
In contrast, SCOT PEP, a national sex worker-led charity, told the council it backed the licensing of SEVs.
A statement reads: “We strongly believe that SEVs in Scotland in West Dunbartonshire should be licensed. Unlicensed and unregulated venues will not provide people working there with the safety and rights that should extend to all workers in Scotland.
“We hope that applicants for such licenses will be thoroughly screened for a history of labour rights violations or indications of sexual harassment, and that the licenses will come with terms that protect labour rights, health and safety of performers and other workers at SEVs.”
At present, there is no legal requirement for SEVs to be licensed in Scotland, so were our licensing board wallahs just wasting our time and money by having a meeting about this?
For information on how this debate went and if any decisions which would affect the public had been made, we were going to ask the for West Dunbartonshire Council to enlighten us.
Would there ever be a striptease in the Denny Civic Theatre?
However, despite the fact that we are fully paid up council tax payers and have been for 50 years, we are banned and boycotted by the SNP administration and council officials from raising maters of public interest with them unless we submit a tedious Freedom of Information request, which takes weeks to process.
Maybe our SNP led council could go the whole hog and licence brothels too.
No I’m not joking. They on present form would I am sure argue that it would be good for business. Of course such licensing would come with the caveat that there would have to be equal opportunity for LBGTI++, queer and trans. The SNP have a big big thing about Trans so it could be interesting times.
No longer the Dumbarton High Street it could be named the Dumbarton Strip.
And using names from the past there could be Denny’s Delight, Ballantine’s Belles, Castle Cuties, the Rock Joint. And what about the old High Free Church. Could that be renamed as Angels, or Angelica’s Delights. Or what about Cutey Sark’s Clip Joint. Would certainly spice the town up.
And then, Friday’s could be a discount day for pensioners. Help keep them warm in the cold winters. After all the SSE electricity company recommended dancing or was it jigging to keep warm to cut energy bills.
And what about new red flood lights for the castle. Bathed in red light it could set the tone for the town. Would be seen for miles around.
Yes Councillor McColl and the team may well have a plan for restoring the High Street. They’ve certainly taken the first steps.
Ah, we shall have to wait and see what comes next!