Month: November 2019
DOWN MEMORY LANE
My big break: I was considering a career in journalism, but the rector of Vale of Leven Academy said: “Ye cannae dae it. Naebody fae the Vale gets tae work furra newspaper.” But then, my girlfriend reluctantly announced her pregnancy and I was in a funk. I phoned the proprietor of the Helensburgh and Gareloch Times, whose shapeless six-page newspaper sold only on its nostalgic appeal: The headline typefaces were selected to meet the squeeze demanded by loquacity, or running from ten words into a second deck of two words, with one monochrome picture per edition, taken with a prototype Polaroid camera.
The product of these speculative efforts was committed to a backroom Edwardian Centurette cracked flatbed flying press which only a singing drunk called Rab could cause to work.
MISSING MIGRANTS TAKE OFF FROM THEIR DIGS
Garda sources said while it was feared the missing men were effectively attempting to flee to the UK, they were committing no offence by leaving the centre they were taken to. When migrants apply for international protection, or asylum, they are offered accommodation, including meals, in centres around the country or they are housed in emergency accommodation, including B&Bs and hotels. However, people applying for international protection can also stay with family or friends in Ireland. There is no obligation on them to stay in accommodation provided by the State.
COUNCIL SKATING ON THIN ICE OVER DEMOCRAT BAN
These are mug shots of the Gruesome Twosome, which I thought would be needed dress up our general election coverage in The Democrat. However, Cllr Jonathan McColl doesn’t require any help in that quarter since he has already sponsored his SNP colleague, Martin [the Meerkat] Docherty Hughes, and won’t be standing. And Joyce White doesn’t need assistance in that direction either since she is a law unto herself, a self-appointed maker of rules and regulations which require no formal endorsement from people who have had to go through the tedious process of an election. It’s called democracy, but we don’t do democracy in Dumbarton. Not under Ms White and Cllr McColl’s SNP we don’t.